Satire

Biden Warns of Russian Invasion of Ukraine, Recommends Booster Shot

Biden yells “Get vaaaaaaccinated,” in the name of world peace

Six months after recommending citizens get vaccinated to prevent forest fires and hurricanes, President Biden is once again advocating innovative solutions to real-world problems.

On Friday, he announced that the best things Americans can do in response to the impending war between Russia and Ukraine is to get a COVID booster shot.

“Listen folks, I uh, there’s a real threat to um the uh, you know, you know the thing,” Biden told interviewer Lester Holt. “There was no way we were ever going to unite Afghanistan — I mean excuse me, ar-ar-ar-Iraq, er uh arf arf arf Ukraine. There was no way that was going to happen!!!” 

Facing a job approval rating that makes Richard Nixon look like Mr. Rogers, Biden is desperate to shift national attention away from his failed domestic policies toward an international conflict. In the absence of a legitimate one, Biden is wagging the dog of war by stoking tensions between Russia and Iraq-I-mean-Afghanistan-I-mean-Ukraine, because if there’s anything liberal media loves, it’s a Democrat president bombing places on maps no American can identify.

“The best thing you can uh, you know…do. For the uh, for to protect your…self, er uh, family, you know…for war — it’s to get boosted,” Biden said matter-of-factly. 

It’s a familiar pitch. It was August 2021 when Biden warned about “wild fires in the West” and the “approaching peak of Atlantic hurricane season” in the Southeast, advising that “ the best thing we can do is to (sic) prepare for that is to for (sic) everyone who is not vaccinated — I know it’s a broken record, I keep saying it — but to get vaccinated.”

The CDC has consistently advocated for vaccines as a preventative measure against fires, hurricanes, and manufactured wars.

So you should…you know…go. Do it. World peace depends on it.

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1 reply »

  1. I can assume you wrote this with the fullness of despair. The Democrats have without a doubt done a great job of wrecking the nation and it took so little time. Capitalizing on the pandemic, making it political they have managed to destroy trust in public health by the various useless mandates and a leaky inferior vaccine while ignoring possible treatment options. Worse they promoted a senile politician known for poor decisions along with a running mate who has no discernable principles. The result is that nobody competent is running our government; a committee of fools who have agendas foreign to most citizens. Biden, puppet that he is, simply mouths words provided and sticks to a script that has become horribly dated.

    We shall survive him but the damage will require considerable effort going forward.

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